Do you ever feel like your marriage has become a minefield? Sometimes we get off track with our wives, and the smallest things can cause tension and separation. Too often, couples get caught up in the distractions of life and lose track of each other — and, as identified by our research, loving your children’s mother is a key fundamental of Championship Fathering.
A recent song by Sara Groves explores that challenge for married dads. As one lyric in the song says, “How in the world can tenderness be gone in the blink of an eye?” The video for the song is powerful:
What rings true in the video for your marriage? The song describes the relational distance that nearly all couples deal with from time to time. Both partners know the best ways to cut each other down; they know exactly how to hurt each other when they want to.
Dad, how is your marriage — really? Do you ever experience that feeling where you almost forget whom you’re married to? Are you and your wife in a good place right now, or are things tough? How would you rate your marriage on a scale of 1 to 10? More importantly, how would she rate your marriage? In today’s world, we all lead busy lives. But that busyness should never be a reason to have a marriage rated down in the 2 or 3 range. find a way to cut through all the temporary matters , “It’s me. It’s your husband. And I love you.”
In the song and video, somehow the couple manages to cut through all of the less important issues and get back to who they really are. As the song says: “Deep down inside, the girl’s waking up; she’s calling out to the boy she loves: ‘It’s me.'” Those are powerful words: “It’s me.” So husbands, when you’re disconnected from your wife — and maybe feeling like you’re walking in a minefield — maybe that’s the time to muster up your courage, look your wife in the eyes and say, “Hey, it’s me. We don’t have to do this to each other. I am your husband, remember? I can treat you better. This isn’t who we are.”
Read more on marriage on our website or articles from Focus on the Family on healthy communication and adjusting expectations in marriage.
- Plan an activity or date with your wife where the main goal is to simply have fun or laugh together.
- Ask your wife what you can do together to improve your marriage, then follow through on her suggestion, whether it’s regular date nights, a marriage conference, reading a book on marriage together, etc.
- Honor your children’s mom in their presence. Compliment her, show physical affection, and make sure the kids show her respect.
- Schedule an afternoon or a whole day when you care for the kids while your wife can get away by herself or with friends.
- Whether or not you’re married, affirm other couples who are demonstrating a good marriage. Tell them you appreciate them for that, and tell your children why they are good examples of a strong marriage.
– Becoming Your Spouse’s Better Half: Why Differences Make a Marriage Great by Rick Johnson
– The 5 Love Needs of Men and Women by Gary & Barb Rosberg
– Every Man’s Marriage by Steve Arterburn & Fred Stoeker
More recommended resources on marriage.