Here at the Center, we consider it “Father’s Day season” as soon as Mother’s Day is over. Among other things, our staff is finishing up interviews with dads and making arrangements for celebration events in several areas of the country related to our Father of the Year Essay Contests.
These contests give kids opportunities to write about their dads, and we’re always amazed at the remarkable, heartfelt things they write. We probably don’t pass along the great essays often enough.
So, even though we’re still a month out from Father’s Day, I want to share one girl’s essay to help you start getting in the right frame of mind—not so you can swell up with pride, but so you can make this “season” a time to recommit yourself to be the father your children really need.
As you might know, our purpose is to inspire and equip dads. But I’ll tell you up front, this week is pure inspiration. I think you’ll agree.
In this essay, a 6th grader named Abigail does a wonderful job of capturing the love and appreciation kids feel for their dads, like what your child surely feels for you.
So, just soak this in today. Abigail writes:
My dad makes me feel loved. I can always count on my dad. He makes me laugh so hard…. Most of the time, my dad’s actions speak louder than life.
My dad is a short, stubby man, but his smile goes from the east to the west. He makes really, really bad jokes, but we always laugh. He acts sometimes, [imitates] singers, and even tries to dance. But he makes his imitations really bad on purpose to make us laugh. He laughs at things I say even if they’re not meant to be funny. That makes me laugh.
My dad has all the qualities of a great guy. He’s so truthful, honorable, and trustworthy. I can always count on him. He even understands what I’m talking about most of the time.
My dad sees everyone for who they are. He won’t judge people but always learns their personalities first. He helps people he doesn’t know, and he’s always nice to strangers. My dad is kind and always helpful.
My dad is awesome, fantastic, and phenomenal. I love my dad. He’s far from perfect, but far past amazing.
Now, after reading this, I was humbled as a dad. And two things came to mind that challenged me:
First, it reminded me that our kids are always watching us. They see the good and the not-so-good in our lives. They know we’re far from perfect. And we never know what will register in their minds as significant or even life-changing. That’s the power and the great responsibility of our modeling.
And second, I hope this draws out the best in you as a dad, like it does in me. Like Abigail’s dad, we make a difference when we make our kids laugh, show kindness to people, and prove ourselves to be trustworthy. Our general disposition has a powerful effect on our children—whether they are tiny infants or teens whom we may have to look up to. Be a joyful father, and let it show!
Fatherhood is a high calling, and something to live up to. I hope you’ll find ways to be “far past amazing” for your kids today.
Action Points for Dads on the Journey
- Do something crazy to have fun with your kids and make them laugh. Do karaoke. Start a water fight, or a pillow fight, or a food fight! Play dress up. Have a whistling contest after eating saltine crackers. Use your own idea. (Then let us know how it went.)
- Write an essay about how much you appreciate each of your children, and show it to them (or save it for Father’s Day).
- What would your children say is your biggest weakness as a dad? (If you don’t know, ask them!) Be intentional about working on that area during the next month … and beyond.
- How do you treat restaurant servers and other people in service positions during day-to-day interactions? Remember, your children are always watching and learning.
- Come up with a “Father’s Day wish list” that includes a lot of activities with family and gifts of time—along with or instead of expensive gadgets.
What challenges you about this essay? Or, when have you been inspired or challenged as a dad because of something your child said or wrote to you? Please let us (and other dads) know by leaving a comment below or on our Facebook page.
Carey Casey is the CEO of the National Center for Fathering, a nonprofit organization dedicated to changing the culture of fathering in America by enlisting 6.5 million fathers who to make the Championship Fathering Commitment. NCF believes that every child needs a dad they can count on, and uses its resources to inspire and equip men to be the involved fathers, grandfathers and father figures their children need. Subscribe to his weekly email tip by clicking here: “Yes! I want tips on how to be a great dad who loves, coaches, mentors, and inspires my children.
I won’t say affirming their physical appearance isn’t important. It is, for sure. But we should focus even more on affirming our wives and daughters in terms of their character and what they mean to us. That helps to build them up inside, and fosters the kind of inner strength that helps them maintain a high self-worth no matter what other signals they’re getting from the culture. (This is also important to remember as you seek to affirm your mother this weekend!)
If she’s five, it’s still pretty easy. Invest a half hour or so and go ahead and start calling your time together a “date.” Go for ice cream. McDs. Donuts and juice. A bike ride around the block. The idea is to be intentional about leaving the house—just you and her. Of course, you should still spend time goofing with your little girl in the driveway with a hula hoop, basketball, bubbles or sidewalk chalk. But a date should probably have a plan and a destination.
Are a lot of you dads like me? When my daughters were that age, the challenges were a bit different, but I wanted to slow them down and let them enjoy being kids while they could.
Whatever it looks like for you, I want to encourage you to equip your children in matters of faith and morality. They need your guidance. And if your beliefs are important to you, this is one of the most important legacies you can leave for your kids.
Our founder, Dr. Ken Canfield, wrote about this in his short book for dads of infants, called 
Clements interviewed several experts on the whole 
Fathers 52 by Jay Payleitner
It's Good to Be the Dad by Clark H Smith