Imagine you could fast-forward your daughter’s life fifteen or twenty years. She’s thirty-five, and you get to see her coming in the door from grocery shopping with three young kids. Clearly, the outing has been stressful.

Her husband is lounging on the couch. The sink is piled high with dishes and toys are still scattered all over the living room floor from the day’s activities. First thing out of her husband’s mouth is this: “About time you got home. What’s for dinner?”

None of us want our daughters to live in a marriage relationship like that, do we? But what can we do about it? Dad, you can help your daughter develop proper expectations for her future husband by how you treat your wife today.

There are no guarantees for whom you daughter will choose to marry—nor that even if she chooses wisely, everything will go well with her marriage. But you have an opportunity right now to influence your daughter positively for decades to come, and I urge you to make the most of it.

If you are controlling, demanding and lazy, then your daughter will accept that as typical male behavior. But if you are considerate, willing to help around the house, and open with affection for your wife, you’ll give your daughter a firsthand glimpse of what a loving relationship looks like.

More than that, you can teach her how to communicate with a man in a healthy way. Share your hopes and dreams with her; be available when she needs to talk; learn to just listen and draw her out—without giving a long lesson or lecture.

Your example will help guide her as she thinks about what she wants in a husband and as she decides which boys and young men to spend time with. We need to treat our wives like we’d want our future sons-in-law to treat our daughters.

Men, we know that a good marriage is its own reward. We are thoughtful, romantic husbands out of love for our wives and because it’s the right thing to do. But we also know that our daughters are watching, and their mental camcorders are running.