Dad: how are you doing creating quality time with your kids? For many years parents have used that phrase when referring to their best intentions with their children: spending quality time with them. Through the years there have also been pro-fatherhood campaigns that used that for a slogan. And at fathers.com, we’re all about that.
We need dads embracing their roles and making memories with their kids.
At the same time, we have to point out that the most engaged, committed fathers are not talking about quality time. They know that the best moments with their kids usually can’t be planned or scheduled—they just happen when they’re raking leaves, going to the hardware store or eating waffles together.
Honestly, when we hear dads talking about quality time, it usually sounds like they’re making an excuse. They’ll talk about how hard it is to give their kids a lot of time; so with the time they do have, they want to make sure it’s meaningful.
It makes some sense, but let’s look at it closer. Shouldn’t we dads be focused on what’s best for our children, and not trying to figure out how to be a Superdad in as little time as possible?
It’s like approaching your daughter and saying, “Okay, I have six minutes. Let’s have a meaningful conversation.” Sounds ridiculous, right? (And your daughter knows it is.) An authentic father-child connection simply can’t happen unless we’ve built a strong relationship during the unstructured, everyday, quantity time.
If you think about it, “quality time” is like a myth. It’s an adult concept. We want to get the most out of the hours and minutes we spend.
But to a child, any time can be quality time.
… or maybe they view every minute with us as quality time.
Another way of looking at it: to many, devoting a day to spend fishing together with a child sounds like a perfect recipe for quality time. But not if dad is off in his own world or gets harsh with a child who can’t bait his own hook. Conversely, doing dishes with a child might seem like an everyday thing, but it could become quality time.
Here’s the challenge: no matter what, relish every moment and work to maintain an attitude that’s positive, thankful, and encouraging. Make the most of every opportunity to connect with your kids whether you’re riding a rollercoaster, tucking them in bed, or playing Candyland for the tenth time that day.
Quality time can come in many forms, and it’s up to us to be ready for it and appreciate it anytime and anyplace—in the middle of our daily routines, during special trips or events, and even during rough patches in our lives or our kids’ lives.
Dad, be intentional about giving your children focused attention as often as you can. Really be present with them. That’s when the so-called “quality time” moments are more likely to happen.
When was the last time you and a child had “quality time” together? Now ask each of your kids the same question. Then share about it with other dads on our Facebook page.
