You have probably seen the video that’s everywhere on the Internet and featured on many news outlets ... Earlier this month, a 15-year-old girl posts a profanity-laced complaint about her parents on Facebook, thinking only some of her friends would see it. But her dad...
Be the Good Boss
A big stumbling block for fathers today is discipline. Some choose to avoid it altogether, while others struggle with what is appropriate. What do you do from day to day, moment to moment? One of the things I've noticed over the last twenty years is that fathers' confidence in discipline has suffered. Fathers are tentative when it comes to exercising discipline and, when they do, they tend to bring a pretty weak effort.
Discipline Lessons from a Speeding Ticket
People attending our events have requested more practical information on discipline, and we know all dads (and moms) will benefit from the practical ideas presented by Dr. Bob Barnes. He teaches that children learn best from experiencing the natural consequences of their actions, and it's pointless for parents to get caught up in power struggles with their kids.
Great Fathers Make Good Neighbors
The teen years can be the best of times and the worst of times. At no other time in your child's life can things be more trying. One common mistake made by loving parents is that they don't give teens enough responsibility soon enough. Too often parents don't trust the values they have instilled over the years, so they attempt to force values on their children in adolescence, and the children rebel.
Prepare To Fight Fair
The Williams family was at it again. Mom accused Dad of being rude to her that morning, and Dad denied it. His memory, he claimed, was much more accurate than hers. Mom said he was crazy—if he couldn't even remember to put up the toilet seat, how could he claim to remember the fight?! Dad exploded in anger, and mom said he was acting just like his father. Dad yelled that she was stupid and overweight.
How to Make Discipline a Positive Experience
How do we teach our kids responsibility and self-control without losing control ourselves?
Dad and Mom United in Discipline
There's a good chance you can relate to Henry's problem—that is, if you have a wife and kids….
It began with Henry asking his son a simple question about the boy's grades. His son gave him an elusive answer, and well, one thing led to another, emotions flared, and they argued for over an hour.
A Lesson from Tommy Franks on Defining Boundaries
A story from retired U.S. Army General Tommy Franks and how it can apply to dads as we seek to train our children.
Discipline: Take a Look Back
You already know how to discipline your child. But do you know where you learned how?
I know a man named Don who, in disciplining his 10-year-old son, pushed him forcefully down to the floor. It surprised this father, and shocked everyone in the room. No one knew what to do next.
Accepting Your Child’s Mistakes
One of the most difficult parts of being a father is learning to accept your children’s mistakes. It certainly can be easy to be loving, supportive, and helpful when your children are mistake-free, but most fathers who are paying attention don’t find too many mistake-free periods of their children’s lives.
Discipline and Self-Esteem
Beginning in the early 1980s, child development specialists encouraged parents to build their children’s self-esteem by giving them lavish amounts of praise. The only problem, writes Sharon Jayson in a 2005 USA Today article, is that “life will burst your self-esteem bubble.” Jayson reports that the self-esteem movement created an environment that protected children from failure, consequently keeping them from learning some very basic life skills and lessons essential to their development.
Discipline for Broken Things
Accidents happen. But who pays for the broken stereo? There are many tough questions for parents to wrestle with.
Jerry and his wife left their normally responsible 10- and 11-year-old home alone for about an hour. But this time, the kids started roughhousing and ended up breaking an expensive piece of stereo equipment that would cost hundreds of dollars to fix.
Welcome to the fathers.com fathering library.
4 Qualities of Growing Dads
Howard, who grew up without a dad, became a father in his teens and has struggled for years with the demands of raising five children, especially since he never had a male role model. Working two jobs, he was always too tired for his kids and made excuses instead of...
The Best Things to Say When Kids Are Competing
What’s the best way to handle ourselves at our kids’ sports events? Brad was frustrated by his son’s baseball schedule. After spring sign-ups, the family was notified the team would be starting “spring training” right away, and those pre-season skill-building sessions...
“Why is my father always angry?”
There’s a powerful fathering insight that some of us need to hear and take to heart, and it comes from our online search data. Quite a few people come to fathers.com using search terms like: “how do I deal with my angry dad”“why is my father always yelling at...
The Paradox of “No Guarantees”
As dads, there’s a truth we need to embrace—and the earlier in the fatherhood journey that we do it, the better: Our kids don’t come with guarantees. Some of the most powerful examples of this are found in the tragic episodes of violence that crop up in news feeds all...
Meeting Your Children’s Basic but Important Needs
For quite a few years, our staff at NCF had the privilege of interviewing dads as part of essay contests and Father’s Day celebrations around the country. Those interviews brought out the unique and often inspiring ways each man expressed his commitment to his...
A New School Year: 3 Tips for Dads
Your children just started school or are about to go back, and that should be a big deal in your mind—whether they’re starting kindergarten or the last year of graduate school. They will mature and be shaped in incredible ways during coming months, and of course you...
Intentional, Joy-Filled Fathering
When someone announces, “I’m going to be a dad!” it’s a reason to celebrate. When one father made that announcement, his wife quickly followed with a report on his recent surge of activity at home. Apparently his joy and anticipation inspired him to rearrange their...
Effective Fathering for a New Generation
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. Recently, someone reminded me that it’s been 30 years since the publication of my book, The 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers. 30 years! A lot has happened with that book since 1992, including dozens of weekend 7 Secrets events in cities all over...
Dads and Fast-Food Modeling
Are you a fast-food dad? A few years back, we ran across an unusual way of looking at a father’s influence and the importance of setting a positive example ... and it has to do with food! Here’s a statistic that probably won’t surprise you: In 1974, out of all the...
“Dad, I Wish We Could Talk About ________”
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. What topics do teenagers want to talk about with their dads? A few years back, we asked that question to a group of teenage daughters at one of our father-daughter events. (I try to never miss an opportunity to capture a few more insights and...
Involved Fathering … or Connected Fathering?
Here at NCF, we often talk about involved fathering. Dads need to be engaged in their kids’ lives. Involvement is the "I" in the I-CANs of Fathering, the four key fundamentals dads put into practice. And it’s no surprise that research shows a strong link between a...
Let the Selfies Begin: Creative Summer Fun for Dads & Kids
by Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield The past few years have been intense, as we all know. Not only have we been struck with a pandemic and political and social unrest, but it seems like shootings in schools and stores and other places are continually on the rise. If...