Statistically, moms spend more time with kids than dads. To counter that inequity, let’s just make a rule.
Whenever possible, Dad tucks in.
The benefits are many. Mom gets a break. Dad gets a clear assignment that he can check off his to-do list. The kids get a daily chance to spend time one-on-one with that shadowy figure that otherwise might only get acknowledged on weekends.
In the early years, the commitment is minimal. In six minutes, you page through a picture book, share one event of the day, say a prayer, kiss them good night, and whisper, “Sweet Dreams.” As they get older, you’ll want to carve out a bit more time. Questions, conversations, and prayer topics will become a bit more in depth. That’s a good thing. You want to know what’s on their hearts and minds. Don’t be surprised if your curious kids bring up topics that trigger some fresh ideas you haven’t considered for years. Or ever.
Perhaps the greatest benefit of tucking in is the chance to put the cares and concerns of the day into the proper perspective. Share a bit about your own day. Listen to their highs and lows. Nod and empathize. Celebrate small victories. Never minimize their concerns, fears, or grief. Occasionally, look for opportunities to sneak in a moral lesson or biblical truth. Try saying things like:
“It’ll be interesting to see how God uses that experience down the road.”
“You know what? Today, you may have discovered something about yourself that will help you make wise decisions for the rest of your life.”
“We need to make plans, but sometimes we’ll find ourselves walking down a path we never anticipated. That can be scary, but very rewarding.”
In the stillness of their bedroom, your time together should set the stage for a restful sleep and hope-filled dreams. Keep praying and kissing good night—even through the teen years. (Especially through the teen years!) When they finally head off on their own—college, the military, marriage, career—you will miss that time together.
I promise, they will also.
Looking ahead, I also promise you will find great satisfaction when you realize that your kids are tucking in their own kids.
Worth noting: In your home, if Dad generally spends more time with the kids, then … Mom tucks in.
Read more of Jay’s contributions to fathers.com.
Jay Payleitner is a popular speaker for men’s weekend retreats and the bestselling author of 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad, 52 Things Sons Need from their Dad, a new release Jay co-authored with his daughter, Girl Dad, and dozens of other books. Jay and his high school sweetheart, Rita, live in St. Charles, Illinois where they raised five awesome kids, loved on ten foster babies, and are cherishing grandparenthood. Find out more about Jay — including a free download to help build your men’s weekend — at jaypayleitner.com.
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