by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC

One December back in the late 60s, a father-daughter tradition began. One afternoon, my father drove my younger sister and me—seven and five at the time—two hours away in our turquoise station wagon to cut down our family Christmas tree. He told us that Mom was staying home to “get our presents organized for Christmas,” which I later learned was a creative way to give her a break.

To pass the time on our road trip, Dad taught us Christmas songs that we all sang at the top of our lungs. Among them were “Jingle Bells” and “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.” (Yes, the musical options were very limited back then!)

When we finally arrived at the tree farm, we took our time walking around until we all agreed on the perfect tree, and Dad chopped it down. Then came the best part: We each got a cup of hot chocolate from the on-site trailer, and we always drank every last drop until we warmed up our insides. My sister and I would sleep most of the way home, which seemed like the perfect ending to the perfect day.

Simple as it was, that tradition still holds a special place in my heart.

And though my dad had experienced almost no Christmas traditions when he was a kid, somehow he stepped up and created a Christmas tradition for two little girls who had no idea at the time that their dad hadn’t experienced the same.

That’s all a tradition needs to be: Spending time with those you love while doing the same thing year after year.

And when it’s a dad investing in his son or daughter with a tradition they create together, it strengthens the core of the child’s identity.

As we prepare for Christmas next week, if you want to give your child the BEST Christmas present EVER, one they’ll always treasure and never forget, I have a few ideas to get you started.

Remember, there’s no need to spend a lot of money. This is about time spent with you. It’s not about overextending your finances. Of course you’ll want to invest at least something into that dad-daughter date or father-son outing … so plan ahead. Yet keep in mind that extravagance is less important than intentionality, time, and heart pursuit.

Here are 16 creative father-child Christmas tradition ideas so you can get started today. With many of these I have dads and daughters in mind, but they can be adapted for sons as well.

1. Eat a meal at a restaurant that’s out of the ordinary. It could become “your place,” where even years later your child will still tie that place to you.
2. Write a letter to your child and read it when you’re out together. Affirm their positive qualities and highlight the growth you’ve seen this past year. Once you start this tradition, they’ll look forward to it as a way to close out every year with positivity.
3. Go for a hike and take photos and selfies along the way. Maybe even print one favorite picture and frame it for them to open on Christmas morning.
4. Perfume Day. You may have heard about this tradition my dad started with me 25-plus years ago. You take your daughter to a store and let her choose any perfume she wants. Then every time she wears that scent throughout the year, she’ll remember your love for her. (For your son, you can choose cologne together and use this time to talk about dating and sex and boundary-setting, etc.)
5. Find a Place to Volunteer. Some dads and kids love creating an experience together to serve others rather than purchasing something. This could be giving time at a homeless shelter, doing clean-up at the beach or a park, or serving at your church. Then celebrate afterwards with a fun food treat where you both debrief the experience.
6. Cook or bake something together. Spend time in your kitchen creating a tasty treat. Let your child lead the way as you laugh and learn and then enjoy the yummy fruit of your labors! You can eat it yourselves or give some to neighbors, friends, and family.
7. Create an art project. Find a paint-your-own-pottery store where you each paint something together or walk around a craft store and find an art project to do together at home. You can also paint with acrylics on canvas or on ceramics or wood (where there’s already a shape to it) or string beads for a bracelet or necklace.
8. Discover a new book. If your child loves reading, the experience of choosing a new book or two will be very affirming. If you have a bookstore in your area, walk the aisles as they choose a new book, and then remember to ask about the book in the weeks and months ahead.
9. Buy a piece of jewelry. If your daughter enjoys jewels and sparkles, buy her a piece of jewelry that she’ll wear and be reminded of you. Again, this doesn’t have to break the bank, so give her an amount to work with. Then remind her that she’s a jewel, a one-of-a-kind treasure.
10. Buy a fun game. Together, choose a board or video game that you can play together. You can bring it out every Christmas to enjoy time and again.
11. Go to a movie. Usually there’s at least one new Christmas movie each year, so you could make it your tradition to go to the theater. Indulge in popcorn and candy to make it extra special.
12. Play with animals. If your child is an animal lover, find a fresh way to fan his or her love into flame by going to a pet store and playing with different animals or to a local shelter for rescue animals. Maybe a younger child will want to draw pictures of the animals from your adventure. Then put their masterpiece in a prominent place in your home.
13. Attend a Christmas concert. There are both free and paid holiday performances ranging from public choirs to traveling groups. Maybe you can make it extra memorable by dressing up and going out for dessert afterwards. If you have a daughter, be sure and open the door for her so you show her what a real gentleman does!
14. Let your child choose any gift. If your son or daughter loves Legos, buy a set and put it together with them. If your daughter enjoys playing with a certain doll, let her choose one to add to her collection. If your son has a favorite sport, buy a new ball or item to connect to that specific sport. Be creative and get something your child might not expect that has value to them—even if it doesn’t rank high on your list!
15. Read the Christmas story. In this day and age it can be easy to forget the real meaning of Christmas, so why not lead the way in reading the Christmas story from Matthew 1 and Luke 2 in different translations. And it’s extra fun to act out the whole story as a family or use props to represent each character. Invite your child into the process of setting things up so your family can gather and participate. If you video record the performance, you’ll love playing it back later years as you walk together down memory lane.
16. Go caroling. Dress up with hats and scarves, then sing carols on the porches of neighbors and/or friends. It might not be as common in today’s world as it used to be, but it really is fun! Maybe you can focus specifically on families who have experienced loss this year, or make arrangements with a local care facility to brighten the days of the elderly. If your child plays an instrument, bring it with you so others can enjoy his or her talents.

There you have it, dad … a few ideas to get the ball rolling as you start a new father-child Christmas tradition this year. Bottom line: Whatever your child enjoys, do it with him or her as you initiate annual rhythms.

Enter into the joy of celebrating what they love this Christmas.

Merry Christmas to you all … from my heart to yours!

Read more from Michelle at fathers.com here.

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is a licensed professional counselor of 28 years, founder of The Abba Project, a 9-month group forum for dads of daughters (ages 13 to 30), and author of Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters and Dad, Here’s What I Really Need from You: A Guide for Connecting with Your Daughter’s Heart (both available on Amazon and Audible). She also hosts the award-winning “The Dad Whisperer” Podcast, which you can access on her website and on Apple+, Google Podcasts, and Spotify. Visit drmichellewatson.com for more information and to sign up for her weekly Dad-Daughter Friday blogs. You can also follow or send feedback on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.