Part of the How to Be a Better Dad series
We’re running a series of blogs on How to Be a Better Dad, and as we continue receiving contributions from friends of NCF, at first it made sense to pause that series to honor moms as we lead up to Mother’s Day.
On the other hand, maybe this is perfect timing.
One of the most important things any dad can do is love his children’s mother.
When kids see that there’s stability and love between two of the most important people in their lives, that gives them a huge boost of security and confidence for their daily lives.
And for divorced or single dads, maybe this aspect of your fathering can’t be ideal (although there are no perfect married dads either). Still, working to respect your kids’ mom and cooperate with her as parents will give your kids a good measure of that stability. And maintaining strong relationships with your kids will help compensate for the potential deficits coming from a failed marriage. We’re all imperfect dads who need to do our best in the situations we’re in.
Bottom line: most of us aren’t alone in our efforts to love and shape our kids.
And we’d be wise to recognize the many benefits moms bring to the picture and honor them on Mother’s Day.
We’ve provided Mother’s Day tips and insights in past years in early May, so here are some key insights and links to some of those:
For divorced dads:
“Sending [a positive] message to our children during Mother’s Day is especially important because it helps to show them that they are not mistakes, and it teaches them about truly selfless love.”
“The best gift you can give their mother is the gift of support and cooperation. It is not about reconciliation, but the fantastic children that you both share and love so very much.”
More from RJ Jaramillo in his guest blog, “Mother’s Day for the Single Dad.”
On Mother’s Day:
“Most of all, a mom wants to know that her kids have thought about her.”
“It’s mostly about knowing that her kids thought about how to appreciate her and make her feel special.”
Get more feedback from moms about Mother’s Day in this article: “For the Best Mother’s Day Ever …”
Some great tips to celebrate your kids’ mother, including:
“It’s good for your kids to get into the habit of showing appreciation, especially to their mom, and they will probably need your help to make sure it happens.”
Watch Kevin Durant’s tribute to his mom and get more “Ways to Honor Mom – the Real MVP.”
And here’s one of many reasons to celebrate moms:
They are often spiritual anchors.
Read more: “3 Reasons to Honor Moms.”
Men – do something special for your mom, if you can. And find ways to honor and appreciate your children’s mother. She’s part of your team, and your kids need that team to be strong.
How does Mother’s Day usually go for you and your kids? How does their mom like to be celebrated? Leave a comment on our Facebook page.
Action Points & Questions for Reflection and Discussion
- When it comes to being a good dad, how important is a healthy parenting partnership with your children’s mother?
- A difficult marriage or relationship with your kids’ mom can easily sap your motivation to be the dad your kids need. For their sakes, do what is necessary to improve that relationship.
- How has your kids’ mom helped you be a better father?
- Ask your kids, “If money wasn’t a concern, how would you want to show your mom that you appreciate her?” Maybe that will lead you to an idea that is within your budget.
- Then talk with your kids about a mom they know who might not have anyone to celebrate her on Mother’s Day—maybe a single mom with young kids. Brainstorm with them and come up with ways you can make her feel special.