5 Ways Dads Can Protect Their Kids from Digital Dangers

by David Tucker – Founder, DigitalParenting.com

We are bombarded with new studies almost daily illustrating how technology can have life-altering adverse effects on our children. From distraction and depression to predators and pornography, technology has evolved into the most significant portal to dangers for our children in this constantly connected society. As dads, it can seem overwhelming to determine what we should do with this information. After all, isnโ€™t technology an essential part of our childrenโ€™s future?

Dads play a critical role in reversing many of these negative trends in the home. As a dad to three teenagers, I want to encourage you that this is a battle worth fighting. It isnโ€™t too late for you to make a difference in your child’s life. I want to provide you with five ways to protect your family from the worst the digital world offers.

digital safety for kids; parental controls for social media; healthy screen time limits for children

1. Model healthy digital habits.

Your most powerful teaching tool is your example. How you use technology will directly impact how your kids use it. When it comes to your digital habits, I believe you should ask yourself the following questions:

  • Do I regularly have focused time with my family where digital devices are not present?
  • Am I demonstrating safe driving habits to my kids by not using my phone when I should be focused on the road?
  • Am I demonstrating a healthy separation between family time and work time with how I use my devices?
  • Am I modeling healthy habits for sleep by not using my phone the hour before bedtime?
  • Am I planning activities we can do together as a family that donโ€™t involve screens?

Ultimately, it is up to you to determine how to use these questions to shape your device usage. I hope that, through this exercise, you have identified a few areas that you can work on over the next week.

If you want a simple idea, set an alarm for 7:30 pm tonight. Once your alarm goes off, have everyone put their devices up. Pull out a board game, take a neighborhood walk, or have time for everyone to read a book. Make the most of this time without screens. Trust me, your kids will notice.

2. Create healthy screen time limits.

When working with parents to develop a technology plan in their homes, I always start with screen time limits. The reason is simple: every online danger is worsened by having more screen time. Being intentional about how you use technology is the most crucial step that you will take.

At DigitalParenting.com, we handle screen time limits differently than most. We have two buckets: total screen time and recreational screen time. Total screen time is the limit that your kids shouldnโ€™t ever go over on a given day. Remember, this includes all screen time, including what is done for school. Recreational screen time is the time your child has to do something fun like watch YouTube, play a video game, or use social media. If your child exhausts the total screen time on schoolwork, then there isnโ€™t any recreational screen time left that day.

We make this distinction because the data around the adverse effects of screen time doesnโ€™t distinguish between these types. Your childโ€™s brain needs time away from screens, regardless of what they do online. Here are our recommendations for kids at different ages:

  • 0-18 months: No screen time at all; avoid all screens, including TV.
  • 18-24 months: 30 minutes total screen time, only with a parent; no solo screen activities.
  • 2-5 years: 1 hour total screen time, only with a parent; no solo screen activities.
  • 6-8 years: 2 hours total screen time; 30 minutes recreational screen time.
  • 9-11 years: 3 hours total screen time; 45 minutes recreational screen time.
  • 12-14 years: 3 1/2 hours total screen time; 1 hour recreational screen time.
  • 15-18 years: 4 hours total screen time; 1 hour recreational screen time.

These are general guidelines, based on research and years of experience. Ultimately, itโ€™s up to you to decide on a specific limit that makes sense for each of your children. Just be sure every adult in your childโ€™s home life is aware of the limits and is willing to enforce them.

3. Delay social media.

There is ample evidence to suggest that social media is a leading factor in the decline of mental health in todayโ€™s teens and young adultsโ€”especially among girls. Countering this is easier than you may think: just delay access. Suppose teens are sixteen or older when they jump into social media. In that case, their ability to process the positive and negative reactions they will receive will be significantly developed over the eight-year-old who desperately wants an Instagram account.

As dads, we like to be seen as a childโ€™s best friend or a hero in our family, but sometimes the right decision can villainize us. This is likely one of those areas. Iโ€™ve talked to dozens of parents who eventually relented after an onslaught of requests from their pre-teen to get on social media. They universally wish they could have that decision back.

Iโ€™m not the only one with this radical recommendation. The United States Surgeon General, Vivek Murthy, reached the same conclusion about social media in January of 2023:

13 is too early โ€ฆ. If parents can band together and say, You know, as a group, weโ€™re not going to allow our kids to use social media until 16 or 17 or 18 or whatever age they choose, thatโ€™s a much more effective strategy in making sure your kids donโ€™t get exposed to harm early.

This suggestion is a far cry from the reality we are seeing today. Kids arenโ€™t waiting until they are 13, even though you must be 13 to get accounts on the most prominent social media platforms. According to Common Sense Media (1), 18% of 8- to 12-year-olds use social media every day.

4. Block unmonitored communication.

If you have a child with a phone, think of everyone who can have an unmonitored conversation with them. Chances are teachers, coaches, pastors, and friends can all message your child. For most families, it doesnโ€™t end there. You would need to add all of their social media connections, users on that Discord server they are on, and the other players on that multi-player game your kid plays on the game console in your living room.

It doesnโ€™t take much research to run across stories demonstrating why this is a disaster waiting to happen. While most parents realize that itโ€™s dangerous for a child to chat with random people online, itโ€™s even more dangerous for them to chat with people they know in real life. In many cases, itโ€™s a trusted adult or a friend from school who uses this means of communication to victimize your child.

One of the best things you can do as a parent is to eliminate the ability for your children to have unmonitored conversations with others until they reach a maturity level where youโ€™re confident they can manage the risks themselves. Most platforms have tools available that can block this type of one-on-one communication. Also, you can use the built-in controls on your childโ€™s phone to create some limits.

This recommendation will require some research and work on your part, but it greatly reduces the risks your child will face online.

5. Discuss red flags.

If you donโ€™t teach your child what to do in specific scenarios online, they will have to figure it out themselves in real time. The younger your child is, the greater the chance he or she wonโ€™t handle it correctly. You can give them a superpower by talking through typical scenarios, so they know how to respond before encountering that scenario in real life. This is why we at DigitalParenting.com believe guided discussions are an essential element of digital parenting.

These conversations aim to help them identify red flags in their online interactions. If they see any of these red flags, they should come to you directly rather than trying to deal with the situation themselves.

Consider the following questions to ask your child and role play together:

  • What would you do if someone asked for your home address or phone number?
  • What would you do if someone wanted you to send them a picture of yourself?
  • What would you do if you saw a classmate being bullied online?
  • What would you do if someone sent you a picture of an area of the body that a bathing suit should cover?

Some of these conversations may seem awkward. If you arenโ€™t ready to have those conversations with your child, just delay their access to all devices. I realize this is a high bar, but we donโ€™t want our children to tackle such serious issues without the proper training.

Stepping Up

I want to leave you with one parting thought. I realize that limiting screen time, delaying social media, and blocking some communication channels are not the most popular decisions at home. But I want you to be encouraged: If youโ€™re working to limit the dangers your child will face, youโ€™re doing a good thingโ€”an important thing. Far too many dads arenโ€™t stepping up in this area. I hope youโ€™ll make decisions that your kids will thank you for when they turn thirty.

David Tucker -  DigitalParenting.com

David Tucker is an author, speaker, husband, and father of three teenagers who resides in Cleveland, Tennessee. Throughout his career, David has served as both a pastor and technology executive. The intersection of his faith and his passion for seeing families wisely use technology led to his founding of DigitalParenting.com.


  1. Rideout, V., Peebles, A., Mann, S., & Robb, M. B. (2022). Common Sense census: Media use by tweens and teens, 2021. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense. โ†ฉ๏ธŽ
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