by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC
Dad, how powerful are your words in your daughter’s life?
As you might suspect, I believe they are extremely important. Like a plant needs water, your girl needs your encouragement and affirmation. Allow me to illustrate further how that often works:
Awhile back I bought four beautiful, green rhododendron plants for my yard. I set them on my back porch and kept a pretty close eye on them to make sure they were getting enough water, at least until I could get around to planting them. Then there was a good douse of rain that week (which was quite common in Oregon!), so I assumed the plants were fine.
However, when I checked on them a few days later, thinking surely they were still doing fine, I was shocked to see that they were barely hanging on. All the leaves were curled in, over half of the bushes had turned yellow, and now the poor plants essentially looked only half alive at best. Somehow, the good rain couldn’t completely prepare the plants for a few days of hot sun. The soil had dried up and the plants didn’t get the water that they needed.
When I wasn’t looking, the plants deteriorated fast.
They quickly faded and were close to dying seemingly overnight. I was stunned at how quickly they went from life to near death while on my watch. Here I had planned on giving them a good home, and yet due to my neglect they almost didn’t make it.

But the good news—and the shocking news—is that after one good watering they sprang back to life in only a few hours. The speedy resurrection process caught me as much by surprise as the original rate of decline, reminding me that water changes everything.
Dad, your daughter is like those plants. She needs you to “water her heart” consistently and regularly.
By that I mean that she needs you to speak words to her heart that are life-breathing and replenishing.
She exists in an environment that can be intense and difficult, and those conditions can threaten her ability to thrive. Sometimes she can be delicate, and if you look away for too long, you may be surprised at how quickly she can curl in, wither and wilt. It can happen seemingly overnight, especially when she isn’t being watered with words of kindness, affirmation, encouragement, support, and validation.
So let me ask you: Have you “watered the soil of your daughter’s heart” today?
That’s my one encouragement for you. Please be mindful of what you are saying to your daughter on a daily basis. Your words do make a difference. Set your intention toward being a dad who pours refreshing words into the soil of your daughter’s heart so she can withstand the weather conditions around her through every season of the year.
You, Dad, are a key factor in seeing your daughter flourish. Renew your commitment today to water her heart with your life-breathing words.
Read more from Michelle at fathers.com here.

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is a licensed professional counselor of 28 years, founder of The Abba Project, a 9-month group forum for dads of daughters (ages 13 to 30), and author of Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters and Dad, Here’s What I Really Need from You: A Guide for Connecting with Your Daughter’s Heart (both available on Amazon and Audible). She also hosts the award-winning “The Dad Whisperer” Podcast, which you can access on her website and on Apple+, Google Podcasts, and Spotify. Visit drmichellewatson.com for more information and to sign up for her weekly Dad-Daughter Friday blogs. You can also follow or send feedback on Facebook, Instagram and Twitter.