Are you actively practicing the habits associated with great fathering?
Here at the National Center, most of our materials are based on research about fathering. And quite often we see that research confirmed when we interview great dads about how they live it out.
But our staff will tell you that when they hear a dad mention certain fathering habits or topics, they know that guy really gets it. He incorporates traits and attitudes that translate into great fathering. Here are four of those most critical habits:
• They express love.
Some dads will say things like, “Susie knows I love her because she sees me doing things for her and with her.” And that’s a valid perspective. Kids do feel loved when their dads are involved and help care for them. But dads also need to say it: “I love you, and there’s nothing you can do to change that.” They put their own discomfort or ego aside and say it often because kids need to hear it.
• These dads ignore the costs.
Some dads might be committed to their families, but they’re constantly thinking about what they’ve sacrificed to be a father: things they enjoy, money, job advancement, and so on. But devoted dads realize that it isn’t sacrifice, but an intentional investment in something more important than those other things.
• These great dads acknowledge the impact of loving their child’s mother.
This doesn’t mean there are no great single or divorced dads, but that dad/mom partnership is a big factor. And it speaks volumes when dads recognize the great security kids gain when they see that their dad and mom love each other and (or at least) work together for the children’s benefit.
• Dads who really “get it” see the bigger picture.
They recognize that healthy fathering reaches beyond the walls of their own homes, and encourages kids who don’t have a dad. They see that engaged fathers and father figures can truly change the culture, because many of society’s issues will be helped when caring, responsible men step up and care for children.
What about you, dad. Do you get it? How can you be more committed to your family tomorrow than you are today?
What’s on your “dads who get it” list? What would you add? What qualities stand out most for you when you see them in devoted dads? Please leave a comment on our Facebook page.