Instilling Generosity in Our Kids: Strategies for Dads

by Dr. Ken Canfield

Here in the middle of October, it’s evident in many American stores that we’ve already entered the holiday season. Halloween decorations are up for some, and Christmas products have been on display for several weeks now.

This is an early heads-up for you and your family about holiday activities and traditions.

Out of everything we associate with the holidays, one of my favorite things is the way so many people are looking for ways to help others and give to bless those who are less fortunate. Generosity has so many fantastic outcomes, and yet many people aren’t even thinking about it until November or December. So I’m here to challenge you (and really all of us) in this area.  

Some years ago I had the privilege of visiting Berry College in Georgia, where I learned a great fathering story involving the college’s founder, Martha Berry. Her father, Thomas, was a successful cotton farmer who often took his young daughter on trips across highland trails to bring food and other resources to struggling mountain families. Martha would often leave her coat or other clothing items for the children. At the Berry home, an extra plate was set at most meals for drop-by company or any person in need.

Martha learned generosity from her dad, and after his death she founded Berry Schools and later Berry College, seeking to help mountain children by giving them a good education, practical skills, and a solid moral foundation.

generosity fathering; teach kids to give back; instill compassion in children

That’s the kind of influence we can have as dads when we challenge and equip our children to live lives that benefit others. And yes, it can and should happen much more often than in the last few months of the year. We play a crucial role in shaping our children’s character. Here are four ways to instill a sense of generosity in our kids:

Lead by Example

Virtues are caught by our children even more than they are taught. They learn by watching us, and if we’re living lives of generosity—by giving of our time and possessions, then our kids will be more likely to follow suit. And when they do, be sure to notice and praise them for it. Maybe even reward them in some way.

Volunteer Together

Family volunteer work can teach children the importance of giving back to the community. Have a family brainstorming session where you talk about who needs assistance in your neighborhood or community, then figure out what’s being done to help them and how your family can be involved. Also see if there’s an activity or two that interests everyone. If you’re including a child of two or three, you’ll want to keep the project pretty short, like perhaps delivering a meal to someone. As children approach school age and have longer attention spans, they can help out with clothing drives, serving meals, nursing home visits, or other more active projects. And as they grow older still, they can begin to take on more responsibility, maybe even coming up with their own ideas and following through on them. (And whenever you discuss it as a family, schedule three or four other days next year for similar activities.)

Encourage Sharing

Thinking of other people’s needs can start very early with the people we’re with every day. From toys and snacks to time and effort, we can create the habit and the expectation that we all share with others. If we can make generosity a way of life, our kids won’t be able to avoid developing some empathy and understanding.

Teach Gratitude

If we truly want to raise kids who are generous, then we need to talk about it with them all the time, not just a few times a year. That means recognizing and pointing out the blessings in our own lives, like telling our kids about times when we have benefited from someone else’s generosity. We can express gratitude even for the small and simple joys or how we’ve been spared from greater difficulties. Then, of course, we encourage our kids to do the same. Over time, these kinds of good habits can foster a sense of appreciation and a desire to give back.

Dads, we need to be the leaders here. We can seek out opportunities for our children to experience the joy of generous giving. And through our modeling, providing opportunities to serve, and cultivating a grateful heart, we can help them become compassionate and caring individuals.

What has worked for you? How have you nurtured generosity in your kids? Share a tip or two on our Facebook page here.

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There may be no more important work than turning the hearts of fathers to their children, and that’s what this is all about. We’re seeking to repair, rebuild and restore effective fathering for the benefit of children and families everywhere.