Be the Bridge, Dad: Connecting Your Kids to Their Grandparents

Dad: one of the best investments you can make in your children's lives doesn't cost much money or require a lot of planning. It's keeping them connected to their grandparents — to the heritage, the stories, the traditions, and the living picture of where your family comes from.

There's even a holiday for it. The first Sunday after Labor Day has been Grandparents Day since 1979, when President Jimmy Carter set it aside to honor what he called our “continuing tie to the near-past.” Some families acknowledge it, but few fully celebrate it like it deserves.

It deserves more — and so do your kids.

But first — if you're a grandfather reading this, happy Grandparents Day! You are an incredibly valuable resource that is far too seldom tapped by our current generation. Your grandchildren need you more than you may know.

Child psychiatrist Arthur Kornhaber spent several decades studying grandparent-grandchild relationships and found that only 15 percent of grandchildren have close, vital connections with their grandparents. His conclusion: “A healthy and loving bond between grandparents and grandchildren is necessary for the emotional health and happiness of all three generations.”

Most dads sense this, but sensing it and acting on it are different things. Your children's grandparents can be vitally important resources in their lives — and are often underused. As their dad, you're in a position to change that.

What Grandparents Bring

There are things your children's grandparents can give them because of their life experiences and their stage of life.

They are living links to the past. Their albums and attics are full of treasures. They've lived through events your children will only read about in history books. They embody your family's history — and children, even young ones, sense this.

They’re more relaxed. A dad at his son's little league game often has something personally invested in the outcome. A grandfather is just happy to be there watching the greatest grandchildren in the world. Grandparents have moved past the pressure of career advancement. They know what matters, and kids pick up on that. And because they're less caught up in behavior and performance, they're often more free to encourage and affirm their grandchildren unconditionally. That kind of acceptance is a gift.

They transmit values in a unique way. When you speak to your children, there's always a layer of authority in the room. But when a grandchild is alone with a grandparent, something shifts. Children who tune out their parents sometimes listen carefully to their grandparents — and they often ask more thoughtful questions.

They model what a long life looks like. Your children are watching their grandparents and quietly asking: if I live another fifty or sixty years, what will I be? A grandfather can be a great example of what a man looks like across a lifetime — steady, faithful, tested by life. Likewise, a grandmother can demonstrate mature womanhood like no one else — nurturing, resilient, full of quiet wisdom. These are images your children can't get from you or their mom yet; you're both still in the middle of your story.

One grandmother made a habit of teaching her granddaughter small domestic skills — including how to cut a grapefruit in a specific way her own grandmother had taught her. A simple breakfast ritual, passed across four generations without anyone thinking of it as anything more than breakfast. That's what grandparents pass on. That's what gets lost when the connection doesn't happen.

Be the Bridge

In many families, the depth of the grandparent-grandchild relationship depends significantly on the parents. You're the one who either opens or closes that door — through your schedule, your priorities, and the intentionality you bring to making it happen.

Encourage regular connection — by phone, text, video call, or whatever platforms your kids already use. Ask your children's grandparents to write occasional letters of encouragement and blessing to your kids. Have conversations with your children about their grandparents' lives — where they grew up, what the world was like for them, what they've been through. When you’re all together, ask the grandparents to tell those stories — with photos to make them concrete.

Maybe you can help create new traditions, like a fishing trip, a cooking lesson, or a shared hobby. Maybe it's something as simple as a weekly phone call. The specific tradition matters less than the consistency.

And if your children's grandparents aren't nearby or aren't available — consider whether there are older adults in your church, neighborhood, or community who could fill some of that role. Your children need access to an older generation.

The Prayers of a Grandparent

An aging grandfather once told his son: "I can't do much anymore. All I can promise is that I will pray for you, your marriage, and your sons." The adult son said hearing that felt like a boxer promising to knock out all opponents. He believed that the prayers of a grandparent are one of the most powerful forces in a family's life.

Dad, your children's grandparents are a resource, a library, a living connection to who your family is and where it came from. Grandparents Day is one Sunday a year. But what grandparents pour into a child — their wisdom, their love, their living picture of a life well-lived — has a way of staying with that child for the rest of his or her life. That relationship is worth celebrating this weekend and investing in all year long.