Don’t Leave Anyone Out: A Valentine’s Day Guide for Thoughtful Dads

Dad, you've probably already made Valentine's Day plans for your wife — and that's great. Every reminder to cherish your wife and romance her with intentionality is a good one. Ideally, we'd be thoughtful and loving toward our wives every day of the year. But this "holiday" is still a great nudge.

Now here's a bigger question:

What about your kids? Have you thought about them this Valentine's Day?

Your children — daughters and sons — need to know they're loved by their dad. Valentine's Day gives you a built-in opportunity to make that crystal clear. But how you do it might look different for each child?

For Your Daughter: Shaping How She Sees Love

A dad's love shapes how a daughter understands her own worth — and what she'll expect from others who claim to love her someday.

When you take time to celebrate her on Valentine's Day, you're doing more than being sweet; you’re helping to build her identity. You're showing her what thoughtful, respectful love looks like. You're setting a standard she'll carry into future friendships and relationships.

Here are a few ideas:

• A daddy-daughter date. It doesn't have to be fancy — breakfast at her favorite spot, a walk in the park, or hot chocolate at a coffee shop. What matters is your undivided attention.

• A handwritten note. Tell her specific things you admire about her: her kindness, her creativity, her persistence. Be concrete — generic praise doesn't land the same way.

• Flowers or a small gift. Yes, it might feel old-fashioned. But a simple gesture that says "I thought about you" can be surprisingly powerful, especially for younger girls.

• Words spoken out loud. Look her in the eye and say, "I love you. I'm proud of you. You matter to me." Don't assume she knows. Say it.

One dad we know has taken his daughter out for Valentine's breakfast every year since she was five. She's now sixteen and she still looks forward to it. That consistency communicates something that words alone can't: You are worth showing up for, year after year.

For Your Son: Breaking the Silence

Now, what about your son? At first, it might feel awkward. A boy might say, "Dad, that's weird." But behind the shrug or smirk, something deeper is going on. Boys need blessing too. They may not say it out loud, but they crave their father's affirmation.

Too many boys grow up wondering if they measure up in their dad's eyes. That silence becomes a void — and that void often gets filled with insecurity, performance pressure, or detachment. But you can close that gap with words that heal and habits that communicate worth.

Here are a few ideas:

• Leave something on the kitchen table. A note, a favorite snack, or a small gift waiting for him in the morning says, "I was thinking about you."

• Take him out — just the two of you. Breakfast, a walk, shooting hoops. The activity matters less than the time together.

• Give him a card with real words. Try something like: "I see the way you care for others," or "You've grown a lot in courage this year." Match the tone to his personality — lighthearted if he likes humor, heartfelt if he values sincerity.

• Say it directly. "I love you. I'm proud of the man you're becoming." He may not respond with much. Say it anyway.

One dad started a simple habit years ago: he'd leave something small for each of his kids at the breakfast table every Valentine's Day. His now-teenage son would never openly ask for it, but if that tradition were skipped the disappointment would be real. That's the impact of consistent love.

Why It Matters for Both

When dads regularly affirm their children — daughters and sons — something powerful happens:

• Daughters internalize their worth and learn to recognize love that respects and cherishes them.

• Sons learn that love is not weakness — it's strength under control. They learn how to express affection and blessing to others someday, including their own future families.

• Both grow up with a secure sense of identity rooted in being deeply loved by their dad — not just for what they do, but for who they are.

Make It a Tradition

What would it look like to start something this year that your kids will remember for decades?

It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. It just has to be intentional. A note. A date. A moment of eye contact and honest words. Small acts, repeated over time, become the traditions your kids will someday tell their own children about.

________________________________________

So this year, dad, don't leave anyone out.

Your wife, your daughter, your son — they all need to know that your love is thoughtful, intentional, and personal. Valentine's Day is just a day. But what you do with it? That might echo for years.