Don’t Leave It to Chance: Why Your Kids Need You to Teach Them Right and Wrong

Mike spent eleven years in prison. He comes from a family of ten kids, and at one point, six of them were incarcerated at the same time. Combined, his family has given nearly a century of their lives to America’s prison system.

Mike’s story is tragic—but it’s not uncommon. And the most sobering part? He sees a clear connection between that long legacy of brokenness and one devastating absence: a father who could guide them.

Mike didn’t have a dad to teach him right from wrong. He didn’t have someone modeling humility, responsibility, or self-control. And he’s not alone. The prison system is full of men like Mike—men who were never spiritually or morally equipped when it mattered most.

That’s why we’re ending our series on the 7 Secrets of Effective Fathers with the final (and arguably most important) secret: Spiritual Equipping.

Your Child Needs a Compass—And You Hold It

Every child, at some point, begins to ask questions like:

• Why am I here?
• Is there a God?
• Does truth matter—and is there such a thing?

Whether you talk about those questions now or not, your children will ask them someday. And if you’re not there to guide the conversation, someone else will. Culture. Peers. Professors. Social media influencers.

As a dad, you are uniquely positioned to anchor your kids—not just in right answers, but in the strength to seek truth, discern right from wrong, and live with integrity when it counts.

That’s what spiritual equipping is: giving your children the discernment, values, and convictions they’ll need for the rest of their lives.

Why Discernment Is the Critical Life Skill

When your kids know how to discern, they can tell good from evil, wisdom from foolishness, manipulation from truth. They won’t believe everything they hear. They’ll recognize when something is off. And they’ll have the confidence to stand on conviction rather than follow the crowd.

This kind of confidence directly feeds into what Dr. Kathy Koch calls your child’s core needs:

• Security – “I can trust my dad to guide me.”
• Identity – “I know who I am and what I believe.”
• Belonging – “My values connect me to something bigger than me.”
• Purpose – “I have a reason to live well and do what’s right.”
• Competence – “I can think for myself and make good decisions.”

Without discernment, kids are tossed around by whatever’s trending. But with it, they stand firm—even when the stakes are high.

How to Spiritually Equip Your Kids

You don’t need to be a pastor or theologian to do this well. You just need to be intentional.

Here are three starting points:

1. Commit to Teaching Them Truth

Before you can teach your kids, you need to be rooted in what you believe.

Ask yourself:

• Do I believe truth is fixed or flexible?
• Where do I look for wisdom when life gets messy?
• What do I want my kids to believe about God, character, and right and wrong?

Don’t worry about having it all figured out. But do be honest. Then start finding ways to integrate those beliefs into everyday moments:

• Talk about right and wrong during stories, shows, or real-life situations.
• Look for teachable moments instead of waiting for formal talks.
• Encourage your kids to join youth groups, service opportunities, or study God’s Word with you.

The more naturally these conversations happen, the more they’ll stick.

2. Model It in Real Life

Your kids don’t just hear what you say. They watch what you do. Closely.

• Do your actions match your beliefs?
• How do you handle pressure, failure, and temptation?
• When you mess up, do you own it—or hide it?

Your integrity—or lack of it—teaches your kids what truth really looks like.

Don’t worry about perfection. Your transparency is just as powerful. When your kids see you admit fault, ask for forgiveness, or cling to hope in hard times, they’ll learn that faith is more than words. It’s a way of living.

3. Let Consequences Teach

Sometimes the best spiritual and moral training happens through failure.

It may feel easier to shield your child from pain, or explain away their consequences, but don’t. Natural consequences build wisdom. They teach kids that choices have weight—and that truth matters even when it’s uncomfortable.

Mistakes at home are cheap. Let them happen there. Then walk with your child through the aftermath—not to shame, but to sharpen. To guide. To build trust that you’re for them, even when they mess up.

And yes, there are times to protect. Parenting requires wisdom. But too much interference can rob your child of the very growth you want for them.

Final Thought: Don’t Let Silence Shape Your Child’s Story

If you don’t talk about truth, someone else will.

If you don’t help your kids develop discernment, someone else will shape their lens.

And if you don’t share what you believe, you may unintentionally train them to believe that nothing really matters.

Mike’s story is heartbreaking—but it’s avoidable. And as a dad, you have the chance to write a very different story for your children.

Show up. Speak truth. Live it.

Your child’s future may depend on it.

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