How One-on-One Time Changes Everything

If you have more than one child, sometimes you still need to go one-on-one.

In the hustle of family life, it's easy to let group activities dominate, but carving out individual moments can make all the difference. We often challenge dads to commit to that "alone" time with each of their children, creating spaces where the focus is solely on one child at a time. It's not always about grand gestures; it's about showing up intentionally.

Here are three powerful reasons why this dedicated time is worth prioritizing, drawing from the experiences of many fathers who've seen its impact firsthand:

It lets each child know he/she is very important.

Your children are acutely aware of how packed your schedule is — between work demands, household chores, and other commitments, they see the constant pull on your attention. They also notice how you choose to allocate those rare pockets of free time, whether it's scrolling on your phone, catching up on hobbies, or unwinding with friends. When you deliberately carve out regular slots just for them — no siblings, no distractions — it sends a profound message. It tells them unequivocally that they rank high on your list of priorities, even amid the chaos.

To make it special, get creative and plan outings that align with their interests, like a trip to the local arcade or a hike in a nearby park. But honestly, the activity itself almost doesn't matter; it's the undivided gift of your time that truly counts. This simple act reinforces their sense of value, making them feel needed and secure in your relationship. Over time, it can even empower them, building their confidence as they realize they're worthy of such focused investment from you. Imagine the quiet glow on your child’s face when she knows this time is hers alone — it's a foundation that strengthens your bond in subtle yet lasting ways.

Kids open up during these moments.

Take Derek, for instance, a dad navigating the ups and downs of raising teenagers. He admits that things can get a little tense at home from time to time, often over minor issues like chores or clashing personalities that build up in the daily grind. But something magical happens when he shifts the scene to a one-on-one outing, such as a quick run for ice cream or iced coffee.

As soon as they hop in the car, the atmosphere changes. Almost right away, his child starts sharing — diving into stories about school drama, friendships, or even deeper questions he’s been pondering. It's as if he’s been holding onto these topics, waiting for that safe, exclusive "dad time" to unload. These conversations often unfold in unexpected ways, revealing sides of your child you might not see in group settings.

Dad, don't miss those priceless opportunities; they're windows into their world that foster trust and deeper understanding. By being present and listening without interruption, you create a space where vulnerability feels natural, turning routine errands into meaningful connections.

Life happens — and life lessons.

When you and your child are doing something together, even if it’s very simple and routine, things happen — and sometimes they are curveballs. Maybe the car breaks down on a back road, or you get pulled over for speeding while chatting animatedly. Perhaps you come across a stranded motorist in need of help, or bump into old acquaintances for a brief catch-up. Expect or even hope for those things to happen. In each scenario, you're not just reacting; you're modeling for your child how to handle situations with maturity and grace, demonstrating virtues like patience, problem-solving, or kindness in real time.

At the same time, these shared experiences let you learn more about your child by observing his responses. Does he stay calm under pressure, or crack a joke to lighten the mood? Or maybe you'll encounter someone your child knows while out and about, sparking casual questions like, "So you know him pretty well?" "Where do you see her at school?" These interactions peel back layers, revealing insights into your child’s social circles and daily life. All kinds of interesting, unplanned moments can arise when it's just the two of you venturing out, turning ordinary activities into teachable adventures.

Dad, take full advantage of these frequent one-on-one adventures. Whether it's grabbing a frozen yogurt, embarking on a long walk through the neighborhood, browsing a bookstore, or diving into an activity your child enjoys, the key is to make it happen. Schedule it on your calendar, treat it as non-negotiable, and be intentional about protecting that space. Don't let the busy-ness of life crowd out these special times with your son or daughter. In the end, these moments not only nurture your relationship but also equip your kids with the emotional tools they'll carry forward.

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