Presence More Than Presents: Dad’s Holiday Heartbeat

Does it seem like most holiday talk focuses on busyness, stress and exhaustion? It's almost like we're being told we're supposed to be exhausted and depressed at Christmas.

Dad, don't let it drag you down. Christmas doesn't have to be stressful, and a big part of that is choosing the right attitude. Go in with a positive outlook and expect it to be great — however you define that. Even when dealing with loss or other challenges that make the holidays more painful, the right mindset makes a real difference.

Priceless Presence

To understand the value of your presence during the holidays, consider the perspective of a boy named Connor, whose mother wrote to us a few years back. Connor's father had passed away when he was four. When Connor was eight, he asked Santa for something remarkable: to bring back his dad, if only for ten days. Connor offered to trade ten years of Christmas presents for ten days with his dad.

That sentiment speaks volumes about how valuable you are, dad. The holidays are a time when your kids especially want you there. This young man clearly understood the value of his dad’s presence over presents.

Maximize Your Opportunities

Connor's story will likely bring sadness to dads who long to be there but are prevented by circumstances like divorce or distance. So to those dads and all fathers, the encouragement remains the same: make the most of the opportunities you have.

Whether you are home every day or only able to share a few days together — and whether you interact with your kids during meals and bedtime or through phone calls and text messages — maximize your presence. You’re creating memories that can last a long time. Even if your kids won’t admit it or don’t realize it right now, they truly do cherish your presence.

Navigating Real Life

Maximizing your time also means choosing the right attitude to deal with the unavoidable realities of the season. You already know it won’t be all miracles and magic. "Real life stuff" is still there.

The holidays magnify small strains in a marriage, so come prepared with extra grace and forgiveness. The kids will argue, whine, get tired or sick, and make you late to events. They may have blowout diapers or spill things on their new clothes. Extended family members bring their own idiosyncrasies — parents, uncles, aunts, and cousins all have their quirks.

If you're a divorced dad, the season can make it harder to get along with your ex. Maybe she'll spring a surprise that sabotages your plans, or a certain statement or tone will rile up your emotions.

The secret is having the right mindset going in. People are who they are, and things will likely go wrong or be difficult. Your best move is to choose a positive attitude — make that decision long before you need to implement it. Don’t let yourself get dragged into drama; keep smiling through it all. Choose grace and stay flexible on details that don't really matter that much.

The Gift of Good Attitude

Besides the fact that your children are watching you, a positive approach is simply a better way to deal with challenges. This Christmas, model "peace on Earth and goodwill toward men" not just in words, but through your patience, flexibility, and positive outlook. Make your positive presence the best gift you give.

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