When Your Kids Are at Their Worst, Be at Your Best

When your kids push your buttons, dad, how do you respond?

Our children are precious and often adorable — and sometimes very difficult. They have a lot to learn about life, and they're immature. They throw fits, hurl insults, and get involved in the pettiest arguments. And they quickly figure out exactly how to push our buttons.

They Can Bring Out the Worst in Us

Typically, it happens in correction or discipline situations. A child acts up, and suddenly we're yelling, exaggerating how difficult they're being, making sarcastic comments we'd never say to anyone else, or doing something physically demeaning or threatening. Maybe we pull out one of those doozies like, "Can't you ever do anything right?"

And sometimes we talk ourselves into justifying it. After all, he was the one who acted immaturely. Or maybe she needed a taste of her own medicine. Or we tell ourselves we have every right to put them in their place — after all, we're the parent. We convince ourselves our child deserved disrespect because of how badly they were behaving.

Truth is, we've all been there. But we must never justify disrespecting our children. The impact on their self-image — and their outlook on life — can be lasting and deep.

You're Their Dad

Here's the thing: if there's anyone your child should be able to look to for affirmation and respect, it's you. That's not a small thing. It's everything to them.

Our love and respect for our kids can't be based on what we think they deserve in the moment, or on our mood, or even on our “rights” as a parent. It has to be selfless and consistent — not dependent on their behavior. Even when their choices bring hard consequences, we can still treat them with dignity.

It Starts in the Heart

No dad is perfect at this, but there's real wisdom in what Jesus said: "The mouth speaks what the heart is full of." That's not just a spiritual principle — it's a practical one. What's inside will come out, especially under pressure.

So treating your children with respect starts with filling your heart with unconditional love for them. Embrace the truth that your child is genuinely unique — with gifts, abilities, and a way of seeing the world that's entirely their own. And here's something worth holding onto: those qualities that are mostly annoying right now? With time and shaping, they can become real assets.

Our kids are works in progress. Think back to when you were their age. You weren't fully mature either.

Take a Moment

When your kids are driving you to the edge, learn to pause. Say a quick prayer, take a breath, and remember how much growing up they still have ahead of them — and how much patience someone once had for you.

Then, instead of talking down to them, speak in ways that move them forward. If discipline is needed, carry it out with the right spirit — firm, but not angry or insulting.

It starts with that inner attitude of respect, dad. When they're at their worst, that's your moment to be at your best. And when you get it right — even imperfectly — you're modeling something your kids will carry for the rest of their lives.

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