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Cherish Every Season, Dad

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by Jay Payleitner

Every stage of your child's life comes with its own kind of beautiful — and its own kind of chaos. Part of the secret to enjoying both is understanding that your kids aren't making your life difficult on purpose.

Parents who want to stay connected with their kids need to roll with the punches. Expect — and maybe even welcome — the weirdness and frustrations that come with each season of their young lives.

Newborns are supposed to cry, poop, and spit up. Toddlers are supposed to open every cabinet door and bang on pots and pans. Third graders are supposed to ask a million pesky, wonderful questions. Teenagers are supposed to test their boundaries ... and test their parents. Young adults are supposed to surprise you with their strong opinions — sometimes pointing in the opposite direction of your own. (Every now and then, they might even teach you something.)

Once you understand that, everything shifts. You worry a little less. You smile a little more. You still keep them safe and stay engaged, but you also fully enjoy the show as their learning curve unfolds in real time right before your eyes.

You stop wishing this stage away — and start cherishing it.

So the next time your kid does something that seems completely ridiculous or wildly frustrating, pause for a second and remind yourself:

Oh ... they’re just doing their job.

And maybe — just maybe — you’re doing yours too.

Jay Payleitner is a best-selling author of A Grand Way to Live, Hooray for Grandparents! and more than a dozen other books on marriage, family, and doing life right, including 52 Things Kids Need from a Dad, 52 Things Wives Need from Their Husbands, and What If God Wrote Your Bucket List? He and his wife, Rita, live near Chicago, where they’ve raised five great kids (and now have eight grandkids) and have loved on ten foster babies. For information on booking Jay to speak at your next event, visit jaypayleitner.com.

Jay Payleitner
Contributor

Questions to Consider

  • Which stage of your child's life have you found hardest to embrace — and what might it look like to stop managing it and start enjoying it?
  • Think about a behavior that's been frustrating you lately. Is your child actually just doing what kids at that stage are supposed to do?
  • Is there a season of your child's life you wished away that you now look back on with longing? What does that tell you about where you are right now?
  • What's one small shift in perspective that could help you "fully enjoy the show" this week?