What Dads of Daughters Need to Know in 3 Words

by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC

Dads: In the past few weeks I’ve had a 47-second video go viral, with nearly 2.6 million views and counting on Instagram!

(And honestly, I suspect a good number of the views, likes and shares are coming from daughters and wives since the message is so relevant and important to them.)

It’s a clip from my interview with my good friend, Jim Ramos of Men in the Arena. (He’s the one who says “Wow” a few times during the clip.) Jim has an awesome outreach to men, and it was truly a gift that he let me be part of this interview to speak words of truth to dads.

Sure, the lighting isn’t the best, but apparently the message is landing with many dads, because I’ve never had this kind of response to anything I’ve put out there. So now I’m passing the message on to you here at fathers.com.

I was telling Jim about a dad who asked me for one brief insight to help him connect with his daughter, and my response can be summed up in just 3 words:

Drop. Your. Anger.

Here is the entire video. (You can also watch on Instagram here.) But keep reading below, because I’m including the key points of the message in text, so you can read it and let it sink in more.

Drop. Your. Anger. 
You will do more damage to her heart through your anger than anything else. 

Your anger crushes the core of who she is. 
Your anger destroys her spirit.
Your anger shuts her down.
Your anger will make her stop trying.
Your anger will be internalized, and she will believe she’s not worthy and she’s unlovable. 

So the best gift you can give your daughter is to make a commitment now to set a foundation to never respond in anger.

That’s it! That’s the message. I hope it challenges and encourages you, and I hope you’ll share it with other dads who may need it.

Why do you think this message struck a chord with so many people? Is this a big issue with you and your daughter? Interact with other dads at the fathers.com Facebook page here, or connect with me here.

On Instagram, you can follow me at thedadwhispererpodcast for professional content or at michellejwatson to track with all things dad-daughter + personal posts.

Read more from Michelle at fathers.com here.

Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield is a licensed professional counselor, founder of The Abba Project, a 9-month group forum for dads of daughters (ages 13 to 30), and author of Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters and Dad, Here’s What I Really Need from You: A Guide for Connecting with Your Daughter’s Heart (both available on Amazon and Audible). She also hosts a weekly radio program called “The Dad Whisperer,” which you can access as a podcast on her website and on iTunes, Spotify, and Google Play Music. Visit drmichellewatson.com for more information and to sign up for her weekly Dad-Daughter Friday blogs. You can also follow or send feedback on Facebook and Twitter.

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