A dad named Allan wrote to me, not asking should I teach my daughter about sex, but how should I? You see, he’s a single dad. And, he’s wondering, should I find a woman to talk to her?

I commend Allan for recognizing the importance of this area of his daughter’s life. Too many married dads leave it completely up to their wives. But even those dads should be involved. 

Every child needs accurate information about sexuality from someone who cares deeply about her. 

With daughters, it does help to get a woman involved. For single dads, that means finding someone you trust, who shares your values. You could learn all the right information and terms, but you’ll never have the same perspectives and experiences. 

But even if someone else teaches your daughter about “female development,” she also needs some insights about “male stuff.” And that’s where fathers need to be as open as they can.   

Spend some one-on-one time asking and answering her questions. You are your child’s protector, and that means a lot more than just locking the doors at night. She needs to know about the pitfalls related to sexual activity—beyond diseases, pregnancy and so on. Things like the emotional and spiritual side of sexual intimacy. 

Help her understand how men are different and unfortunately many men think about sex in unhealthy, completely selfish, or even perverted ways. Use examples of famous men who have misused their sexuality.

But also describe for her how a healthy, responsible man thinks about sex. Point out the advantages of going on a group date, and then, later, only dating young men who have themselves committed to respecting women. Help her to set her own high standards. Give her enough reasons that she can’t help but decide to see the sacred value of sex.

Dads, too much is at stake. We have to be involved. A little bit of awkwardness will be present in any discussion about sex, but that’s just more proof of how we need to be humble, truthful and open with our daughters. Dad, work through those awkward moments and you’ll equip your daughter for a healthy future.