Dad, this is a somewhat random day of the year. It isn’t Father’s Day, New Year’s Day or the first day of school for your kids—times when we at fathers.com typically urge guys to recommit to their fathering role. Maybe we could say springtime is when the sun is out longer, outside activities are restarting and there are more options for father-child fun. But this week’s message is meant to catch you on an ordinary day on a normal week in your routine … if there are such times.

Now is a good time to reflect on your children.

There’s never a bad time. And this is about more than a 15- or 30-second thought about your kids. Stop and reflect for five or ten minutes or longer about each one. Maybe have a pen and paper or your phone handy so you can capture a few thoughts and notes.

Specifically, think about the past 12 months and how much your children have grown and changed. Even if you had limited opportunities to see them, what did you notice physically, intellectually, or spiritually? If it helps, scroll through photos, videos, and events on the family calendar from a year ago to help jog your memory. It really is amazing how fast children grow up; take time to appreciate some of the many ways that is happening.  

With all that in mind, now start looking ahead to the next twelve months. What’s on your fathering horizons? What new joys, challenges and adjustments are ahead?

Give some focused attention to the area of discovery related to your children. How will you structure your schedule and your commitment so that, twelve months from now, you can say, “I have come to know my son or daughter in a much deeper way”? Cultivate a sense of wonder about your child, where you want to learn more about him and invest more in his future.

There are two aspects to focus on as you seek to know your children better.

First is a GENERAL awareness of children—the insights, challenges, and activities that are likely to occur during this stage of your child’s life. Like the pilot of a small plane, you can scan the horizon of their growth and development to make sure things are functioning properly and take note of appropriate adjustments.

The second aspect is SPECIFIC knowledge of your individual children. Over time, you become deeply familiar with their unique traits since, like snowflakes, no two are alike. What are their talents and strengths, their likes and dislikes, their strengths and weaknesses? How are they wired? Are their personalities more like their mother’s or more like yours?

Positive awareness of your children works in both ways. You’re developmentally aware of what to expect of children as they pass through different ages, stages, and phases, and you’re specifically aware of your children as individual, distinct people with their own traits, goals and dreams.

Here’s your next action point.

Given the reflection you’ve done about the past twelve months and the possibilities coming in the next twelve, capture some ideas you can use to help you know your child better. Write down or record questions you’d ask if you were meeting your child for the first time. The questions can be whimsical or serious, information-based or off-the-wall—and there probably should be some variety to mix things up. Then have those questions handy and start using them as conversation starters during your next outing or car ride together.

Here are some questions to consider, if you need help. And here are some to ask about school.

Of course you’ll want to adapt this to your situation and your unique children. But try it. It’s a pretty easy, small step that could become a positive habit that makes a big difference.

Imagine one year from today, this mostly random day in the year, when you may be looking back with no regrets because you’re closer to your kids than ever, and they’re closer to you. And it’s only getting better every day.

Take our self-scoring profile on fathering awareness. Download it here.

How aware are you of your kids and their world? What one step will you take to improve in this area? Leave a comment and see what other dads are up to on our Facebook page.