by Ken Canfield, Ph.D.

Some years back, a reporter for The Wall Street Journal set out to write a story that she believed would really impact her readers. She wanted to interview a CEO of a publicly traded company who was committed to his family and actively involved in the lives of his children. She planned to follow him around to see how he balanced his family and work commitments.

One of the potential subjects for her profile was very interested initially, but then dropped out. His reasoning:

He was concerned about how his customers, peers and shareholders might react.

What if they found out that business interests and earning profits were not his number one priority? Would it be acceptable for a CEO father to go public with the idea that his commitment to his children was a higher priority?

As I said, this was some years ago. I know that today many more employers recognize the need for work-life balance and encourage working men to be strong, committed husbands and fathers. They see the benefits for companies and organizations when staff members are well connected to their families—they are often happier overall and less stressed at work.

So things are better, and yet there will always be some work-family tension for dads. Many of us have a drive to achieve and succeed in our careers, and it isn’t easy to ignore it or turn it off when we’re home.

And so, whether you’re a CEO or in any other career position,

I hope you’ll live out your fathering commitment in conspicuous ways.

Be a model of what it looks like to be a committed dad—not perfect, but always looking for ways to improve and grow. Be known as a guy for whom family is a top priority. Be unashamed about your desire to succeed as a husband and father—whether or not it’s popular at work. Even verbalize it to your peers, colleagues, neighbors and friends. Make it easier for other dads around you to make similar commitments.

Bigger picture, we need to restore responsible fatherhood as a cultural expectation. When men like us are everywhere, fulfilling our roles as dads and proud of it, that can be a great encouragement to the many men who are struggling as fathers, and even to men who didn’t have dads. Many men who grew up fatherless have told me that when they see other men demonstrating a healthy commitment to fathering, that helps to fill a void in their lives and they have a little bit more hope about their own fathering situation.

Of course, it starts with your kids.

They should see your commitment more than anyone else. Be sure you tell each of your children how important they are to you and put those words into action.

But also demonstrate your fathering commitment in more public ways. Wear it proudly! Display your children’s artwork. Show everyone photos of your children. Notice and affirm other men living out responsible fatherhood whenever and wherever you see them.

We often hear that the economic decisions leaders are making today will impact future generations, and that’s true. But I’m convinced that our actions in affirming responsible fatherhood will do even more to shape the future.

How are you actively pro-fatherhood in your everyday life? Share some thoughts with other dads at our Facebook page.

Action Points & Questions for Reflection and Discussion:

• What’s the most family-friendly workplace you’ve been a part of? What made it that way?
• Make it a habit to regularly ask co-workers about their kids and family life.
• How do your co-workers know that being a dad is important to you? How do your kids know that they are a high priority to you?
• Ask your family members: “Are my work demands taking me away too much?” “What changes should we make in that area?”
• When you see a dad somewhere who’s engaged with his kids and doing his best, affirm him in some way. Buy them all ice cream. Or just say, “You’re doing a good thing.”