Here at fathers.com, we want all dads to do their best.

Be devoted to your children. Make them a top priority. Commit yourself to being there for them through all the ups and downs of life. Give them lots of encouragement and affirmation. Teach them skills and values.

There’s a lot that goes into a father’s role, and we want to help inspire and equip you to be the father your children need. You have every reason to be confident as you approach being a dad.

And yet, there are many dads who feel overwhelmed. We might be struggling because of our situation, or possibly due to our own mistakes or habits. Maybe we lack the opportunities to be the dads we want to be.

Consider this quote from G.K. Chesterton, the English writer, philosopher, and apologist, from a book he wrote in 1910:

“If a thing is worth doing, it is worth doing badly.”

At first, of course, it goes against everything most of us were taught and most of the messages we hear. If we’re striving for excellence, as we should be, then why would we want to do anything badly? We should be doing our best at anything we try, especially the important things.

All true, but it’s likely Chesterton was coming at it from a different angle. Maybe the point is that some things in life are important enough that we keep doing them even when our best isn’t all that great. We keep going anyway. We persevere. When we get knocked down, we get back up and keep trying. And we trust that, over time, as we keep struggling and gain experience and learn from mistakes, we’ll see some improvement—and possibly some significant improvement.

Surely there’s a truth here for fathers.

Sometimes being a dad is presented as a non-stop joy ride of sunshine and laughter. (Surely we’ve been guilty of that at times at fathers.com.) After all, being a father is a high calling that brings many rewards and benefits. Sometimes we’re amazed at how satisfying it is.

We all know there’s much more to the picture. None of us are perfect dads or anywhere close to it. We make bad decisions, maybe work too much, take out our frustrations on our kids, break promises to them, give more time and attention to our hobbies than to them, fail to engage them in positive ways, and on and on. Or maybe your child has made mistakes or has chosen a difficult path, and you’re haunted by thoughts of what you could have done differently. What’s your biggest struggle as a dad right now?

Maybe you feel beaten up or beaten down in your fathering. Maybe it feels like you never do the right thing, so why even try? Or you feel stuck in a negative pattern and there doesn’t seem to be a path to something better. Please remember:

Being a dad is a thing worth doing—and worth doing badly.

Trying to be a perfect dad is impossible, and it isn’t the point anyway. A better goal is to be a growing father—always humble, always looking for ways to get better.

Fatherhood is hard for many of us, but it’s very much worth the struggle. None of us are good dads without a lot of messing up today and trying to do better tomorrow. Growth is a process that could take many months or years. No matter where you are in that journey, just keep fighting and keep taking one step forward. Even if it feels like you’re doing it badly, keep giving it your best.

How do you keep going through the challenges of fatherhood? Please share your insights with other dads on our Facebook page.

Action Points & Questions for Reflection and Discussion:

• How would you describe your current fatherhood situation? Are you generally optimistic, or not so much? What are the biggest challenges or struggles you face right now?
• Spend time reflecting on some of the best times you’ve had as a father—when you felt the most satisfied in your fathering.
• Tell your kids about something you struggled at early in life, but with practice and perseverance you became much better.
• In what other areas of life have you made big efforts to grow or improve? What did you learn or gain that can apply to being a dad?
• Don’t take the fatherhood journey alone. Meet regularly with other like-minded dads for ongoing encouragement and accountability.