Write Notes to Your Wife

No argument, communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. But for some men, the notion of sitting down for some extended sharing time with their wives is intimidating. Not that we have an excuse—our wives need to hear from us often about our lifelong devotion to them.

But let’s look at an idea that’s probably less intimidating. Just a little bit of effort—a moment each day—can help revitalize your marriage.

Like any married couple with young kids, Greg and Elaine live a busy lifestyle. Greg was running his own business, and one evening he brought home one of the disciplines from his work.

Thinking of his relationship with Elaine and how the intimacy had dropped over the years, he began writing notes and leaving them for her, one a day, in the bathroom. They weren’t real involved, just a short thought or two about the day, a note of appreciation, a word of encouragement, or an expression of love.

Sometimes the notes were whimsical, sometimes poetic; some were simple and direct. When needed, some offered apologies.

You can imagine how this small but regular gesture changed and invigorated Greg and Elaine’s marriage.

Elaine grew to cherish those daily notes, and if Greg ever missed a day, she would be sure to ask, “Where’s my note?” Then she began to return the favor, and the discipline—and the joy—continued for many years.

Greg and Elaine said that what matters most isn’t so much the length of the note, the quality of the writing, or the complexity of the ideas. It’s a daily demonstration that, “Hey, you’re special to me, and I’m thinking about you today.” It’s simply a point of loving connection in the midst of their busy lives.

Can’t you imagine how this would help solidify a marriage? If a couple is fighting and both spouses have a commitment to write something positive to the other every day, that’s bound to bring them a little closer together.

Simple written words can revive a relationship. And, as you might expect, it works with our kids, too.

Watch the replay of the Fathering Breakthrough Event

Join Dr. Ken Canfield and a handful of friends and partners as we give an update about our efforts to inspire and equip fathers all over the world.

There may be no more important work than turning the hearts of fathers to their children, and that’s what this is all about. We’re seeking to repair, rebuild and restore effective fathering for the benefit of children and families everywhere.