Some time ago, I spent a week in the mountains with my daughter Sarah on a father-daughter retreat. For me, it was a cleansing, refreshing time; for Sarah, it was a time of empowerment and blessing to be all God meant her to be.
That week deepened our relationship, but it also got me thinking about fathers and daughters. You know, ever since the so-called “gender wars” long ago, significant male/female tensions have existed in our society.
In many ways, the way the media have exploited our daughters and treated women has gotten even worse. Look at the images we see on You Tube, Cable, in music videos, and in printed publications.
How can we as Girl dads work to resolve this lack of respect?
Fathering sons may come naturally, but do we love our daughters with equal zeal and purpose? We are the first men that our daughters respect and love. We teach them what men are made of and what kind of treatment they can expect from men.
So, dad, what can you do? Start by writing your daughter a brief “old school” letter that expresses your love and appreciation for her. Be specific. Point out her unique, God-given traits and talents. Take her out on a date — just the two of you — and read the letter to her yourself — out loud.
Ask her to describe your emotional make-up using as many adjectives as necessary. Think hard about what you’ve done to create that impression on her.
Ask your daughter about the most difficult challenges she faces with her friends and other relationships. Respect her as a young woman. Model the characteristics she should look for in a husband.
If you don’t have a daughter, think for a moment of all the young women who may look to you as a father figure — nieces, neighbors, your own little sister, maybe the daughter of a single mom. Look for ways to affirm and encourage them.
Dad, when you see images or hear about issues that others or the culture promotes which demean our views of women, what can we do to change the narrative? We can start by being intentional about the way we father our daughters.
