What did I do with the opportunities I had to connect with my child, demonstrate love, show encouragement, and teach him about life?
Interchangeable Parts, Irreplaceable Fathers
My brother-in-law Mark lost his job last week. Like any other weekday, he arrived at his office at 8:25 am, likely scanning his Blackberry on his walk across the parking lot to see what his busy schedule held for him. But instead of a day filled with meetings and customer calls, he was promptly ushered into a conference room, sat down by an HR rep, and summarily laid off. Thanks much, but we just don’t need you anymore.
Time: Are You Spending or Investing?
As dads, we choose how to invest every minute of our time, and our children are clearly one of the highest-yield investments.
A Commitment to Give More to Family
Cameron Stracher is a busy working dad. He's a law professor in New York who also does legal work, with a long commute to and from work every day. Several years ago, he found himself feeling "over-extended, over-committed and physically exhausted," and very out-of-touch with his family.
How is your job impacting your fathering?
A recent survey by CareerBuilder confirms the challenge among working dads to navigate the demands of work and family life. According to the survey, 38% of working dads, if given the choice, would take a pay cut to spend more time with their kids. Nearly one in four working dads (24 percent) feel work is negatively impacting their relationship with their children. Forty-eight percent have missed a significant event in their child's life due to work at least once in the last year, and nearly one in five (18 percent) have missed four or more. Thirty-six percent of working dads say their company does not offer family-friendly work arrangements such as flexible schedules, telecommuting, job sharing and more.
Dads on the Road
For many dads, the challenging task of fathering is made even more difficult because we spend so much time traveling. If you're like me, there are times when your job demands that you be in Chicago tomorrow, and out on the west coast by next Tuesday. There's no getting around it.
SuperDad
Recently, Sue Shellenbarger, the work and family columnist for the Wall Street Journal, wrote about “Undercover Moms”—women who find themselves changing outfits on the run several times a day as they juggle their various roles. In her article, Shellenbarger included this statement: “It’s been a long time (read it: never) since I’ve seen a dad changing from a suit to soccer shorts in a parked car.”
Work and Family: The Ongoing Tug-of-War
Every month or so, we hear about someone else “retiring” to spend more time with his children. We applaud him and perhaps even hold him up as an example for all fathers. But in reality, these people are usually politicians, professional athletes or business CEOs. Not all of us are in a position to choose outright between work and family, but must somehow reconcile these often-opposing forces.
Workaholism – a Slippery Slope
What shapes your identity? In today’s world, a man’s identity is largely locked up in what he does and what he produces—not who he is as a husband and father.
It isn’t hard to explain. For most men, that’s what they learned about manhood from their male role models.
When You Come Home From Work
Those first few minutes set the time for the entire evening. Here are five practical tips to make coming home an easier transition.
Work Stress and Marriage
Stress is contagious. In this age of high expectations and long work hours, it’s easy for a man to bring his worries and frustrations home and spread them all over the household.
Corporate Priorities
Should your job ever take priority over your family? Ever?
Bill is a successful attorney, but he’d tell you it’s much more important to be a successful father. But he didn’t always think that.
Categories
Welcome to the fathers.com fathering library.
On the left you will see how our blogs and articles are categorized. Choose your stage in the fathering journey under Your Kids, click on a specific situation that applies to you, or browse through the items in our hot topics and fathering fundamentals. Also, check out Tools for the Journey – short downloadable pieces with tips for specific challenges.
A Dozen Activities to Help You Win Your Daughter’s Heart
by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC With Valentine’s Day less than a week away, here’s a reminder that the holiday isn’t reserved only for romance between sweethearts. It’s also an opportunity for a girl to be treated in an extra special way by her dad, thus...
Winning and Losing in Father-Child Contests
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. Bob’s two teenage sons were challenging him in many ways physically—arm twisting and wrestling and so on—and they talked about racing him to see if they were faster. It leads to a common question for dads: What’s the impact of winning or losing...
One Way to Restore Hope to Your Fathering
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. What keeps a dad motivated and hopeful? That’s a key question that I’ve been pondering and researching for some time, and I’ll have more on this in the coming weeks and months. I’m more and more convinced of this: Hope is a powerful force and...
Birthday Reflections: A Father’s Legacy
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. I recently gathered with many of my children and grandchildren to celebrate a birthday: my 70th. It was a wonderful and sometimes wild time together. During the days before that celebration, I came up with a sheet of reflections that I handed...
Game Time! Have a FUN Family Christmas
Are there gamers in your family? Actually this isn’t the kind of gaming you’re probably thinking of. And it has very little (if anything) to do with phones, computers or keyboards (unless you come up with one that involves a piano). This is about playing games with...
3 Fathering Insights from Joseph
by Jeff Zaugg Have you ever had dreams or expectations that fell flat or didn’t materialize the way you hoped? That happened to my family and me a few years ago when we were on an RV trip in Texas. We had plans to spend a few days at a lake that looked beautiful on...
Perfume Day: A Powerful Dad-Daughter Holiday Tradition
by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC Per·fume [pərˌfyo͞om] · a fragrant liquid typically made from essential oils extracted from flowers and spices, used to impart a pleasant smell to one's body or clothes. Day [dā/] · a period of twenty-four hours as a unit of time;...
What’s Your Plan for the Holidays, Dad?
It’s the week after Thanksgiving, and in case you didn't know it, dad, last week was a test—or maybe a warm-up. How did you do? It’s good to ask yourself questions like: “Did I help make the celebration all it could be? Or did I just kind of show up and let things...
A Year-End Message from Dr. Ken Canfield
Dad: Please watch this short video and then keep reading below for a year-end update and request from me ... https://youtu.be/1jYUmQOTfEg Dads: This is an exciting time of the year. I love the Christmas season for many reasons. It's also a time to reflect and take...
3 Ways Dads Can Be Intentional on Thanksgiving
by Jay Payleitner Thanksgiving? Already? If the days are moving too quickly, that's all the more reason to approach the holidays with thoughtfulness and intentionality. I do hope you're feeling grateful. Even if you've had a tough year,...
5 Things Single Dads Should Do Consistently
by Matt Haviland As a father, I try to operate with the ever-present knowledge that my words matter, and often more than I realize. Of course, that isn’t easy; we all say things that are careless and insensitive sometimes. And often the challenges increase when you...
Dad Jokes: A Celebration
by Brock Griffin What’s the deal with dad jokes? Why are fathers, some of the most vital contributors to healthy families and communities, associated with humor like this ...? I was wondering why the frisbee kept getting bigger and bigger. Then it hit me....