If you have fathered a son, you influence how he ultimately comes to define himself as a man. The image he carries of you in his soul will in some way guide his steps. He may follow in your footsteps, intentionally choose a different path, or journey through a wilderness of ambivalent feelings concerning your relationship.
Raising Self-Controlled Sons
“Today’s men are obsessed with money, greed and sex. We will talk about the first two, somewhat, but the last one we avoid.” So writes author Archie Wortham. Wortham believes dads need to talk to other men about the challenges they have faced or are facing as men, then they’ll be better prepared to help their sons mature.”
Dads, we’re the remedy for a crisis
In a 2006 article, Orlando Sentinel columnist Kathleen Parker addressed America's "boy crisis." Many have recently drawn attention to statistics showing that boys are falling behind in school performance. Parker responded to a recent study which concluded that the problem is really more about class and race, since the problem is most severe in Hispanic, African American, and poor communities.
Boys and “Band of Brothers”
A deluge of recent studies makes it clear that boys are vulnerable. They are falling behind in many key areas: SAT scores, reading proficiency and college attendance; and moving ahead in some undesirable statistics: emotional disturbance, school dropout and suicide rate.
Sons’ Rites of Passage
Some moments you and your son will remember forever.
You're out in the country with your fourteen-year-old son, coming back from someone's house. You pull the car over to the side of the deserted dirt road and turn off the ignition. "Dad, what's going on?" your son asks.
Hard Ball and Sons
Sometimes—especially with sons—you have to "play hardball." If you're a father of boys, you have my prayers. They'll make you proud, but they also may make you crazy.
Talking With a Teenage Son
So it’s time for you to sit down and have a face-to-face chat with your teenage son. Actually, there might be a better option.
The public service announcements on television make it sound like the best approach is to just start a conversation about drugs or alcohol at the breakfast table. But most teenagers would just roll their eyes—and probably tune you out.
Nurturing Sons
The greatest gift a nurturing father gives his sons is a healthy model of what it means to be a boy, a man, and a father. Boys and girls both need their father's affection. But with boys it may be harder for dads to openly show it, even those fathers and sons who spend lots of companionship time together.
Boys and Gender Differences
Despite the movement of our culture towards androgyny, we are all well aware of the unique contributions and the unique differences between men and women, boys and girls. No matter what any clinical psychologist or researcher might say, there are distinct, observable, differences between the sexes, and I'm glad about it.
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Welcome to the fathers.com fathering library.
Tension with Our Kids’ Mom Deeply Affects Our Fathering
When there’s tension with your child’s mother, it impacts everyone. That might be an odd message to convey so soon after Valentine’s Day, but we all know what real life is like all the other days of the year that aren’t our anniversary or a special date night. And for...
A Dozen Activities to Help You Win Your Daughter’s Heart
by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC With Valentine’s Day less than a week away, here’s a reminder that the holiday isn’t reserved only for romance between sweethearts. It’s also an opportunity for a girl to be treated in an extra special way by her dad, thus...
Winning and Losing in Father-Child Contests
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. Bob’s two teenage sons were challenging him in many ways physically—arm twisting and wrestling and so on—and they talked about racing him to see if they were faster. It leads to a common question for dads: What’s the impact of winning or losing...
One Way to Restore Hope to Your Fathering
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. What keeps a dad motivated and hopeful? That’s a key question that I’ve been pondering and researching for some time, and I’ll have more on this in the coming weeks and months. I’m more and more convinced of this: Hope is a powerful force and...
Birthday Reflections: A Father’s Legacy
by Ken Canfield, Ph.D. I recently gathered with many of my children and grandchildren to celebrate a birthday: my 70th. It was a wonderful and sometimes wild time together. During the days before that celebration, I came up with a sheet of reflections that I handed...
Game Time! Have a FUN Family Christmas
Are there gamers in your family? Actually this isn’t the kind of gaming you’re probably thinking of. And it has very little (if anything) to do with phones, computers or keyboards (unless you come up with one that involves a piano). This is about playing games with...
3 Fathering Insights from Joseph
by Jeff Zaugg Have you ever had dreams or expectations that fell flat or didn’t materialize the way you hoped? That happened to my family and me a few years ago when we were on an RV trip in Texas. We had plans to spend a few days at a lake that looked beautiful on...
Perfume Day: A Powerful Dad-Daughter Holiday Tradition
by Michelle Watson Canfield, PhD, LPC Per·fume [pərˌfyo͞om] · a fragrant liquid typically made from essential oils extracted from flowers and spices, used to impart a pleasant smell to one's body or clothes. Day [dā/] · a period of twenty-four hours as a unit of time;...
What’s Your Plan for the Holidays, Dad?
It’s the week after Thanksgiving, and in case you didn't know it, dad, last week was a test—or maybe a warm-up. How did you do? It’s good to ask yourself questions like: “Did I help make the celebration all it could be? Or did I just kind of show up and let things...
A Year-End Message from Dr. Ken Canfield
Dad: Please watch this short video and then keep reading below for a year-end update and request from me ... https://youtu.be/1jYUmQOTfEg Dads: This is an exciting time of the year. I love the Christmas season for many reasons. It's also a time to reflect and take...
3 Ways Dads Can Be Intentional on Thanksgiving
by Jay Payleitner Thanksgiving? Already? If the days are moving too quickly, that's all the more reason to approach the holidays with thoughtfulness and intentionality. I do hope you're feeling grateful. Even if you've had a tough year,...
5 Things Single Dads Should Do Consistently
by Matt Haviland As a father, I try to operate with the ever-present knowledge that my words matter, and often more than I realize. Of course, that isn’t easy; we all say things that are careless and insensitive sometimes. And often the challenges increase when you...